You’ve never been a gay kid. I have. Here’s what happens when you’re a gay kid and the people around you use the word “gay” to mean “foolish, silly, less worthy”: You begin to believe that you are foolish, silly, less worthy. And it’s all because of a biological desire within you that is as natural and healthy as your predilection for “skinny white chicks with big tits” (Rolling Stone). You feel desire and then you immediately feel shame. And then you try to turn off your desire. And you can’t, because nobody can. So then you feel anger because you cannot turn off your desire, and then you feel fear, because you worry that everyone around you can tell how angry and ashamed and gay you are.
And then you smile and you fix your hair and you put a good fucking face on it so that nobody will suspect that there’s a storm raging inside of you.
And over time, you get really good at all of this, because you get a lot of practice over a lot of years, so you can get the whole process down to a fraction of a second. You spend your formative years building a giant concrete maze inside your soul that it will take you decades to even acknowledge, much less try to get out of. When I meet a man I am attracted to, it is all I can do not to hyperventilate into a paper bag—and I am 43 years old. Kids right this second, in the year 2015, are still stuck building that shitty, awful maze and dropping themselves inside it, because people like you don’t want to spend two seconds thinking of a kinder word to say.
I have spent time with you, and I have seen up close how much time you spend with your shirt wide open, so I am confident that you have never experienced this kind of shame. But it’s real. Trust me. And you’re extending its life another day by bravely making a stand against the rampaging armies of political correctness that don’t exist, and fighting for your right to do this cruel thing that you think is awesome.
Open Letter to Kid Rock - Stop Using ‘Gay’ As a Pejorative
Somehow, Dave Holmes patiently explaining the world to an aging, irrelevant rocker is the best reading I’ve done all month.